Baby Beans

I am feeling fabulous today! I woke up this morning and ate my now-ritualistic cold oatmeal. I felt a little queasy once I got to work, but after eating a couple of crackers I felt better.

Today is Administrative Professionals Day. My boss sent me some beautiful flowers yesterday and took me and my co-worker to lunch at Market Street Grill for lunch today. I was so nervous to go! She doesn’t know I’m pregnant and I was terrified the smells of a seafood restaurant would send me over the edge. But, I was able to sit down with confidence. I didn’t have any nausea and I was actually LOOKING FORWARD to eating! This comes as a nice change since lately I’d rather lick the side of a port o potty than eat anything. …that might be a slight exaggeration. Slight.

Unfortunately, Market Street Grill ‘s menu is full of stuff I can’t eat. Fish, fish, and more fish. I could’ve eaten the salmon, but it wasn’t sounding very delicious so I opted for the cheese ravioli with clam chowder. YUM. I love clam chowder! It was soooo good.

Ok, enough about my meal, that’s boring. New developments? According to my Mecca of fetus knowledge, the babies are starting to grow fingers and toes this week! They are about the size of kidney beans, 3/8” long. I still haven’t started showing yet nor have I really gained any weight. My weight has been fluctuating a bit, but only within a pound or two so nothing really major yet.

My first prenatal appointment is coming up on Friday. I’m not really sure if I’ll learn anything new while I’m there. In fact, I probably already know more about things than he will since I know my exact conception date and the fact that there are two of them in there. I think I’m going to get tested for gestational diabetes.

I’m going to start taking pictures soon at the request of many of my readers. Sorry I haven’t posted any yet…there’s just nothing to see!

This week has been rough. I keep thinking I’ve hit the peak of this morning sickness business only to find the next day is even worse. I gave up on all the natural cures like peppermint and ginger. I spoke to a nurse the other day who recommended a “B6 cocktail”. I take a B6 supplement 3x per day and half a Unisom at bedtime. Apparently, Unisom was originally produced as a nausea aid but its sleepy side effect made it more marketable as a sleep aid. It seems to be working alright, I can’t tell yet. I ate some cold oatmeal this morning which seemed to help.

I’m 7 weeks and a couple days now. The babies are the size of large blueberries (the babies!!), about an inch each. So cool! I haven’t gained any weight yet, also cool. I think it’s going to be pretty difficult to hide it at work. I wanted to wait until July to spill the beans, but the doc thinks I’ll start showing around June.

I’m getting anxious to start preparing things. There’s not much we can do, though, until we know genders. If it was just one, we could probably stick with a neutral color and be ok, but with two, it will be better to know genders before we start getting things together. We’ve casually started looking around for stuff. KSL has TONS of baby stuff for sale and most of it is semi-new since most people only use the stuff for a few months before their baby grows out of it.

I think I’m ready for a vacation.

Twins!

We went to our final appointment yesterday with the fertility clinic to have our viability ultrasound. It was a nervous drive.  Both Kevin and I had started to entertain the real possibility of triplets. It wasn’t something we really wanted to think about, but the reality of this potential situation was being more and more apparent.

We got there a few minutes early and entertained ourselves by playing some Boggle on my phone. The nurse called our name and we went back into the ultrasound room. The nurse started asking some questions, like when was my last period, etc. Then she told me I was almost 8 weeks. I thought this was odd because when they called us, my due date was December 8th. Now she was telling me it was December 5th. I asked her about it, then she asked if we did IUI or something. This was weird, because I’ve been going there for almost a year. It’s not like they have 30 nurses. I knew her. But I guess even nurses are human. I told her we had done IVF which made her realize she had the “wrong file”. Ugh. She went back to get my real file and then said the dates were back to what I originally thought. I am 7 weeks prego today. I guess Wednesday is my week mark instead of Thursday. Awesome.

The doc finally arrived and started the ultrasound. Almost immediately, we saw two large black holes on the screen. The doc said, “Oh, are you seeing what I’m seeing?” to which I replied, “Um, I see two things.” For whatever reason, call it mothers intuition, I was not surprised to see two. I actually think I expected it. But I was still fearful of seeing a third. He moved around a bit looking for any other sacs but finally decided it was just two. I don’t think Kevin had quite caught on yet, because his eyes got really big and he said, “Wait, so there are two in there? Two?” Ha ha ha. Poor husband. The doctor started asking us if that was good news. We both agreed it was MUCH better news than three.

He measured the size of the gestation sacs and the embryos then tracked the heartbeats. Both were very strong (Twin B was a bit stronger) and all is well in womb land. Doc told us twins usually come about a month early so we shouldn’t be surprised if they’re ready in November instead of December. I thought It would be cool if they were born on 11/11/11, because it’s already a cool date, but, the date itself is a “twin” with the double 1’s. They printed a copy of the ultrasound frame for us, we asked a few questions, then we were outta there.

Twin B is on the left, Twin A in the bigger sac on the right.

We won’t know for about 7 or 8 weeks what the genders are. I don’t really care, though. As long as they are healthy, I’ll take whatever I’m meant to have. Kevin is still in shock I think. I think we both knew it was twins but didn’t really want to admit it. I’m really happy, though. I have been so worried and stressed about having an “only child”. I kind of grew up like that with my parents. All of my siblings were much older so I was the only one at home. Don’t get me wrong, it had its benefits, but I felt left out from all the childhood memories. So I’m glad baby A will have a full time buddy with baby B in addition to the fun of the half siblings they’ll share.
Hooray for twins!

6 Weeks, 4 Days

I threw up last night. I know, gross. I was relatively surprised. I don’t know why. I mean, that’s pretty common when you’re nauseous.

I visited my sister this weekend. She is fostering a little baby right now. She’s had her since birth but she’s now about 6 months old. What a cutie! It was fun to play with her. Even Kevin wanted to hold her and feed her. What a good daddy!

Tomorrow is our appointment. I can’t wait for tomorrow to be over. I’ve been sick with worry about the unknown for too long. Heavens! I’m ready to start worrying about something else.

No more spotting. I have had some cramping on and off. It’s pretty strong at times, but since there hasn’t been any more spotting, I haven’t been too worried about it. It’s good to know and hear that so many other mothers had the same symptoms around the same time I am. It’s given me (some) peace of mind.

I can’t stand the smell of anything. Everything smells so strong and instantly makes me feel nauseous. Kevin’s cologne, my shampoo, even the air freshener in my office. EVERYTHING makes me feel sick. Kevin is convinced I am a hypochondriac and I’m only having this problem because I’ve read about it in one of my books, but I’m pretty sure it’s for real. Also, food is becoming less and less appealing. If I have to eat one more saltine cracker, that alone is going to make me throw up. I tried eating some ginger snaps over the weekend, YUCK. Thanks, but no.

Another strange thing is my stomach seems to have shrunk to the size of a golf ball. I can’t even finish a Taco Bell burrito without feeling like I’ve just finished a Thanksgiving meal. That doesn’t seem normal at all. I would think I would be able to eat and eat forever. I have, however, maintained my weight at the steady 138 I started at. If I am having just the one baby, I should gain between 25-30 pounds. Scary!

I think I’ve narrowed down my doctor/hospital selection. We’re probably going to deliver at the closest hospital to our house. I’ve done some research about the labor and delivery department and they seem to be pretty good for that. They have about 8 doctors in the Women’s Center across the street. Most of them have great reviews as well, but I think I’m going to pick the one that has the least amount of wait time. One of the doc’s average wait time was between 45 minutes to 2 hours! I’m sure he’s great, but I don’t want to wait that long for the next 13 appointments.

Nervous Nelly

I’m now six weeks and one day. Baby is the size of a lentil bean (whatever that is) or about the size of a nail head.

I’m hoping to gain some reassurance at the ultrasound next week. I have been pretty nervous and scared all week. The good news is my morning sickness has gotten increasingly worse, so I would imagine that’s a good sign of a strong, healthy pregnancy. The bad news is, I’ve had some pretty constant cramping along with some light spotting. Eek. I’ve done some research and it is very normal for those kinds of symptoms around the time I’m at. Doesn’t make it any less scary, though.

I’ve tried a lot of things to help with the nausea: Ginger ale, saltines, peppermint Lifesavers, etc. Some of them work, at least for a few minutes. Unfortunately, I don’t like any of those things so I have to suck/chew/swallow them and try not to gag just from making myself eat/drink something I don’t like to begin with. I’ve heard about those preggy pop things, so maybe I’ll give them a go. They seem pretty expensive, though. I only have about 6 more weeks, give or take. I think I can make it. I’m already half way through my first trimester! Woohoo!

When we did the embryo transfer a few weeks ago, the doctor gave us this picture:

As you can see, there are three different embryos all at varying degrees of growth. Pretty cool to see. These are magnified about 100,000x (I made that number up, I don’t know how magnified they really are) and were only 1/10 the size of a period (that part I do know is true). Insane!  I’m so nervous for Tuesday. It will be so nice to have SOME peace of mind about something, though. We’ll get to know how many of these little clusters survived AND the confidence that I’m being nervous about nothing and they’re still alive and well. Whew. Tuesday seems like a year away. For the first time, I’m hoping the weekend goes by fast

Uncertainty

I’ve been left alone with my thoughts quite often as of late. Because of this, I’ve been thinking –no, make that over thinking – about every detail of the next 3 or 4 years of my life.
 

I’ve also gained all of these irrational fears about the baby and its safety. I guess that’s parenthood. I just didn’t expect it to start this soon. I’ve never been a big worrier. As a matter of fact, I’ve considered myself an optimist. I’ve been step-parenting for over 3 years now. I love all of those kids. But I’ve never understood this worry that my husband constantly has about them. I was able to look at it from a rational point of view and see that things would be ok and there was no sense in looking for the worst case scenario. But now, that’s exactly what I’m doing! It’s quite annoying.

The morning sickness is getting increasingly worse. It’s now a constant nagging feeling of queasiness. I don’t mind it too much, though. I haven’t thrown up yet (emphasis on yet) but I’m taking it with a grain of salt. I’m happy to be with child. I came so close to not being able to experience pregnancy. Granted, I still could have been a mother, but without the special experiences of growing my very own baby. Kind of like buying your produce from the market vs. growing your own garden at home. You’re grateful and happy either way for the food, but it’s pretty cool when you grew it yourself.

Even though I’m drinking water like crazy, my lips and skin are constantly dry. I now have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee (only one time, for now). I get dizzy quite easily and have to hold walls and things for balance. These are more of those symptoms that I did expect at some point, but I really did not think they would come so soon. They are, in some ways, reassuring to me. I keep thinking as long as I keep feeling all of these expected “side effects”, the pregnancy must be on the right track and everything is normal.

The reality has not set in yet about the finality of this situation. My husband and I have started talking about future plans, big things, like which room will be the baby’s room, names, etc. But it just doesn’t feel real. Perhaps part of that is because my belly is not showing yet. Another part is I’ve been wanting/planning on a baby for about 7 years but it’s never happened. It’s been in the background of my life for so long that it’s hard to imagine in 8 months (nay, make that 7 months and 2 and a half weeks) it will be here.

Toodloo, Weekend

I think it's starting. Morning sickness. On at least three occasions today, I felt that yucky nauseous feeling. Additionally, while I was watching Problem Child 2 last night, I had to change the channel prior to the amusement park puking scene because just the thought of it was starting to make me sick. Although the kids teeth were pretty sickening as well. Seriously, couldn't they have made him brush his teeth? He's the main character for pete's sake.

We started spring cleaning this weekend. We haven't actually done any "cleaning" yet, but we did take an entire car full of junk to the D.I. yesterday. I browsed through the maternity clothes just to see what kind of selection there was. Since this will undoubtedly be my only pregnancy, I don't want to invest a jillion dollars on a bunch of clothes I will only wear for a couple of months. The pickins were slim. I've got quite a while until I have to worry about the clothes, though. Besides, my belly will be biggest during the winter months anyway.

Did I mention my due date? Probably not. Even if I did, I'll mention it again: December 8th. The day after my husband's birthday.

We started talking about names today. My husband seems to be convinced we should call him The Fonz (first name The, middle name Fonz) if it's a boy. I told him I get to use the mother veto on that one. If it's a girl, I want to name her one of those old fashioned grandma kind of names, like Ruth or Agnes. Probably not actually either of those, but I just wanted you to get a taste of the time of which I was referring. Emilee, my 9 year old step daughter, would like to name them Bella and Edward if they are twins. If it's triplets, the obvious choice is Bella, Edward and Jacob. Then, Bella would always grow up having to choose which one of her brother's she loved the most.

I've been so tired all weekend. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week at work this week.

And...Go.

So here I sit, 5 weeks pregnant. I've been reading a lot of pamphlets, blogs and websites about what's going on inside my body. I can sum it up in one word though: Miracle. In just a week, this little fella will multiply in size by more than 10,000 times. Insane! I can barely muster up the energy to make the bed on a daily basis (who am I kidding, I never make my bed).

I don't quite think reality has set in yet. It still seems so early and unreal. The only symptoms I have thus far are occassional belly cramps. Everything I've read said this is normal so I'm not too worried about it. It's a good thing because baby is growing.

I had to make a difficult decision when we found out about the pregnancy. We had a relatively large dog. Even though he was three years old, he was extremely high maintenance. I knew once this baby came, poor doggie could not be in the house for fear of wanting to "play" with new baby. It's not his fault. He just wants to be part of the family. Not only that, but he would demand much more attention than I could devote. I didn't want him to live his life all alone in the backyard. I know, I know, I'm a horrible doggie mom. Please don't make me feel worse than I already do.

Fortunately, I found a family who wanted to adopt him. They are a younger couple with 3 children. They came to our house last night and met Gomer for the first time. All the kids loved him and squeeled with joy when he would lick their hands. I'm glad he's going to a good home and will get lots and lots of attention from his new friends.

I've been drinking A LOT of water. Normally, I drink about 20 oz. or so a day (I know, how am I still alive, right?). However, I've been more aware of the need as of late and trying to get in at least 60-80 oz. now. I definitely have to potty much more often, but it's a welcome break to my sore knees from sitting all day.

I also changed my eating habits. This was not necessarily because of the pregnancy, but actually for a weight loss competition our family started a couple of weeks ago. I'm not doing anything extreme or crazy. No shots, pills or magical teas for me. I just started eating better choices more often in smaller portions. I also have been exercising more. That doesn't take much, because I've pretty much been attached to the couch all winter long. Prior to finding out I was with child, I had lost about 5 pounds. I am now at a much better weight for my height and plan to continue what I've been doing already throughout the pregnancy for both my sake and the baby's.

Still having to get nightly shots of progesterone. I will need to get those until week 10. It will be a long month.

We have a viability ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday the 19th. They should be able to tell us how many heartbeats are there. It will be good to know for certain.

I'm very happy and excited and using all my willpower not to overload Facebook with status updates. I promised myself I'm allowed one per week, MAX. And even that is pushing it. I don't want to be one of "those mom's". Of course, I think all women start out with those intentions, but by the time baby comes, the floodgates open and here come all the pictures and updates and videos. I promise I'll try not to be like that. But give me a break, it's my first kid.