Thursday, November 17

So Close

I just spoke to the doctor. Apparently, someone delivered today which opened up an earlier spot for us tomorrow! We will now have babies in less than 24 hours! How can I even explain what's going through my head right now?

So much anxiety, fear, anticipation, restlessness...I can't even compartmentalize all of the emotions. My legs kind of went numb just thinking about it. Preparation for the spinal, I'd imagine.

I've spent the morning double checking my mental to-do lists to frantically resolve anything I could have possibly forgotten. The video camera is charging as we speak, the hospital bag is ready to go, I'm drinking water like crazy and notifying family of the changes. I guess this is prepared as one can feel when you're about to take on the responsibility of two fragile little lives.

This past week has been the most miserable. Even sitting is now unbearable because everything squishes up into my ribcage and I can't catch my breath. Standing is equally as uncomfortable because the extra weight makes my legs and feet sore and they tingle from lack of circulation and swelling. Laying down causes its own problems such as heartburn and an aching belly. All I can say is, the last week of pregnancy has to be natures way of preparing women to finally say, ENOUGH - give me the pains of labor, just get these things out of me!

I was able to get a few last minute projects wrapped up earlier this week. I finished the cupcake stand for my baby shower next weekend, completed the thank you gift I've been working on for my sister-in-law who is throwing the shower and made the matching name sign for the nursery - although I didn't get them hung up yet. I guess I'll keep that on the to-do list a while longer.

I'm now laying in bed trying to find any comfort I can. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a restless night, much like the last few nights only magnified. I'll try to nap if I can, if nothing else just to make the time pass by more quickly.

I've come to terms with the c-section. We did confirm last night the babies still haven't flipped, no big surprise there. The doctor said they look to be good sized. He thinks baby B is around 6 or so pounds and baby A is a little smaller, probably around 5. That is a whole lotta baby up in there! No wonder my ribs feel like they are cracking!

We asked a lot of questions about the process and what to expect. It sounds like it should be a pretty smooth experience and should be over relatively quickly. There will be around 12 people in the room, possibly even more because of the fact there are twins. That's a whole lotta lack of privacy. I guess it won't be my lady magic out and about at least.

Well, I'm not sure when my next post will be. Hopefully I'll be able to do a quick recap before I forget all the details. Wish me luck! The next time you hear from me, I'll be a momma to two twin boys!

Monday, November 14

I'm sitting at home watching Sex and the City, waiting for 12:00 to roll around so I can start working. If I try to get out of my comfy reclining chair, my belly tightens immediately and doesn't stop until I'm sitting down again.

The weekend was nice, though. We did a little bit of shopping on Friday - including new glasses for Kevin and I - then spent the rest of the long weekend solving mysteries on the Wii.

I went through baby clothes last night and picked a couple new outfits for the hospital, just in case I change my mind. We also got the car seat bases installed in the van and the car seats clipped in. It took a little reading along with trial and error, but we got it figured out eventually. Clip in seats are so cool. I'm especially grateful to have them with two little babies; it would be a huge pain to have to deal with the in's and out's of regular car seats anytime we went anywhere.

I made it past the 11/11/11 hump in the hospital. Now if I do go into labor, I don't have to worry as much about having to sleep on a cot in the janitors closet because there are no beds or nurses available.

My oldest nephew turned 17 yesterday which made me start to think about how the last two decades have flown by. I vividly remember him as a newborn, then at 6 months, a year, 5 years...It's reminding me to cherish the moments because they are gone before you know it.

Well, one of the babies just kicked the laptop so I guess that's my cue: Time to close up shop for the day. Can't wait for my mid-afternoon nap!

Thursday, November 10

8 Days

I've been living the reality of what it feels like to have that dream where you're naked and you can't seem to find the sense to put any clothes on because you're too frozen with fear to do anything.

Yes friends, it is now 8 days until I'll be holding these little ones - but no longer in my belly. I've had my hospital bag packed and ready to go for about a week now. I looked at a lot of suggestions but in the end decided to keep it pretty simple. I have some trial size toiletries, a couple different loose fitting jammie type things and all the paperwork I'll need such as my disability insurance claim form, the pre-authorization from the insurance company and insurance info. The hospital probably already has most if not all of this on file, but better safe than sorry.

I"ve been working from home for the last week and I have to say - it's awesome. I'm so thankful my employer was able to work with me and allow me to do things from home. It will help financially for sure.

I joined Sam's Club on Monday. I bought my first pack of diapers and wipes. I've always heard they were expensive. But crap. Diapers are expensive. Wipes aren't exactly cheap, either.

I've been able to keep most of my regular routine up but it is definitely harder (even more so) to sleep well. Peeing, tossing, turning, aching, etc. Lot's of that. My belly is out again - the shrinking thing has all but disappeared. I'm short of breath much of the time and heartburn is rottenly constant. The doctor told me last night I still have "a little more room to grow" - I wanted to punch him. There is no more room, sir.

Speaking of the doctor, we had another appointment last night. Baby still hasn't turned, so it appears surgery is the way we'll go. I've come to accept the fact and although I still don't find it ideal, I just want these babies outta here in the healthiest way possible. He expects them to be about 5 pounds each which is small, but average for twins. He also said he saw breathing movements on the ultrasound which shows their lungs are developed enough they shouldn't have complications once born and hopefully -fingers and toes crossed - won't have any time in the NICU. Since I'll be having a c-section, I will probably be in the hospital for 3 days intead of 2. That means we won't be going home until Sunday evening or Monday morning - I'm not sure what they count as a "day". Thankfully, Kevin will get to stay home with me for nearly two whole weeks! It's going to be nice having him home and bonding with our babies. Once he goes back to work, my mom is going to come help out for a week or two. I can't even explain how thankful I am to have this help; I know I'm going to need it!

My favorite thing at the moment is to be somewhere and have someone ask when I'm due. I tell them, "next Friday" and they suddenly act like I'm a nuclear warhead about to explode at any second. Speaking of exploding things, I went to Babies 'R Us yesterday to scope out some of their stuff and noticed some "spots" on parts of their carpetting. I should have taken a picture, but I didn't. However, I'm pretty sure those spots were places where waters had broken and birth processes had begun. Then I thought about how awesome it is that I'm not working the week before I'm scheduled to deliver: I'm so glad I don't have to worry about my water breaking in the office! I'm sure they are, too.

Yesterday, I received my invitation to my baby shower. My mother-in-law drew and painted the birds. She is so talented! I love the little hats. My sister-in-law has been working tirelessly to make this a spectacular event. I don't know much as it is supposed to be a surprise, but I know her and I know it's going to be awesome. I didn't post the back because, well, it has addresses and such things which are probably not good things to post on the Internets, but trust me - the back is just as cute as the front.

My parents came to visit over the weekend. They showed up with a huge box full of clothes, blankets and other baby stuff. My mom works with another twin mom who recently had boy/girl twins and she was generous enough to donate some of her stuff to us. We had so much fun going through the box and seeing all the cute tiny things (thanks, Nicole!).

We have been so blessed throughout this pregnancy. It's made me realize just how many people we have in our lives that love us and how lucky we are to be adding to our family. It's reaffirmed that things really do happen for a reason and taught me even more lessons about patience (though I know I still have much to learn there). I can honestly say I had lost some of the hope that this day would ever come, yet here we are.

Thursday, November 3

Change Your Life in Just Two Weeks!

We had a really good appointment last night. Although we didn't do any measurements this time, both babies hearts are still beating strong and they're right on track.

I complained to my doctor about what a horrible experience I had with the NST scan. He didn't exactly comfort me (you went on a Friday night at 6:00 right after a shift change??), but at least we talked about it and he said I don't have to go back but if something doesn't feel right or I haven't felt the babies move to go in and get checked out. So that's great!

We also set a date! If these kids aren't here before November 18th, they'll be forced into the world that day. That will be right between 37 and 38 weeks. Unfortunately, baby A is still breech so unless by some miracle he finally flips around, we'll be having a c-section at 12:00. So in just two weeks, I'm going to finally be able to see my little boys! It seems so surreal, but I'm so excited.